11th Post Extravaganza: The Leroy Interview

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OK, so I was a little jealous of the Big Dumb Guy getting to interview Dr. Zibbs, “That Blue Yak,” for his 100th post special today. Ugh, can this guy get enough of himself already? I’m talking of the Big Dumb Guy, not Zibbs, who is uber cool. I mean, my cage is right near the bathroom, and I swear, the Big Dumb Guy stands in front of that mirror for hours on end, placing his hair just this way and that, plucking his eyebrows and many other things that you do … not … want … to … know … about.

So, I thought I’d do my own special. But I don’t have access to anyone else to interview but Leroy (pictured above), one of the Big Dumb Guy’s rats he keeps out in the living room and thinks I don’t know about. So, I snuck out in the middle of the night, found Leroy and asked him some questions.

HARRY: So you’re a rat?

LEROY: Do you have food?

HARRY: Why does the Easter bunny have eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.

LEROY: I like eggs! Do you have some? Give it to me!

HARRY: Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

LEROY: Actually, I’ve smelled you now. I think you are food. Jethro? Come over here. We have live food. Help me chew through these bars!

At that point, I made a quick – but dignified – beeline back for the bedroom for the safety of my cage. Apparently, the rats aren’t very smart. It’s funny, biologists say that us hamsters have tiny brains and shouldn’t be very smart, but I’m living proof that size doesn’t matter. And these idiots? They’re living proof that I need to get some friends.

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